Sometimes your best ideas come to you in the shower… Here’s a collection of the best for this week..
- Sleep should be rolled over. Like “Oh, you got 20 hours of sleep today? Cool man, you don’t need sleep for the next three days.”
- In 20 years or so, I’m going to have to jailbreak my car to drive above the speed limit
- It’s weird how “Fact-checking” and “News” are treated like two separate concepts nowadays.
- Popping bubblewrap is not as fun when you realise that you are releasing toxic Chinese air into your home one cubic centimeter at a time.
- When a company offers me a better price after I cancel their subscription, they’re just admitting they were overcharging me.
- If you go to jail for tax evasion, you’re living off of taxes as a result of not paying taxes.
- Whenever you buy and eat half a chicken, you are secretly sharing a meal with a stranger.
- A rolling stone gathers no moss but a moving ceiling fan gathers dust like a motherfucker.
- I’m not scared of a computer passing the turing test… I’m terrified of one that intentionally fails it.
- Last night my friend asked to use a USB port to charge his cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book. The future is stupid.